Living in Minnesota - The Almost Lost Shoe!

I had not given much thought to how much attuned I had become to my relaxed suburban life here in the picturesque city of White Bear Lake until today. It has been less than a year, and I seem to have flushed every bit of the traffic of my home country and the din associated with it out of my system – the results of which have borne hilarious outcomes, in the least.

Its tax time of the year, and therefore, a visit to the nearby capital city of St Paul was called for. Even the little one was not spared for the paperwork lest the taxman thinks otherwise and, therefore, was made to tag along with us in the subzero weather. Which he did quite happily, as oblivious as us to the state of our minds.

Those who have kept up with their geography will know that St Paul is the capital of the State of Minnesota and one half of the Twin Cities. Needless to add, the traffic is a lot busier on the narrower streets of St Paul, in stark comparison to the much wider and quieter roads of White Bear Lake. Right from difficult parking places to busy intersections, St Paul threw in enough challenges to its less enlightened evening visitors – namely us.

When we did manage to find a spot right next to where the snow had been plowed to a mountain and climbed out of the comfort of our blessed four wheels to our quickly-getting-miserable two legs, we transformed into our pea-brained alter personas. I would like to blame our jaywalking judgments to the high chilly winds that literally froze large parts of our grey matter, but I know that is not the whole truth.

One intersection, and we would have been saved. Yet it took a mammoth minute to wait for the lights to turn in our favor. For a moment we were tempted to make a run for it amidst the traffic and yet, we knew we could not. At last the lights changed, and we made a beeline for the other side, the cold winds prompting us to make it faster, the little one doing the best he could with all the know-how of his three young years.

Finally we were there – inside the warmth of sanity. And just when I had thought it had all been fun, the little one exclaimed, “Where’s my shoe, Mummy?”

We both reeled at the impact of the question and the sight of one tiny socked foot. The husband recovered his wits faster than I did. “He was holding your hand!” Of course, darling, I agreed.

Therefore, I went back retracing my steps looking for the all important almost lost shoe unsure of where it had gone missing. Before long I spotted it, right in the middle of the road, waiting to fly in the air anytime as several wheels threatened to run over it. I stood there counting the seconds which had never seemed longer hoping against hope to retrieve the piece of leather before it died another premature death.

A shoe in the middle of a busy intersection in St Paul – I am sure it isn’t a common sight, and for the first time I thanked the weather for being harsh enough to not let too many people see it. Too my chagrin, however, there were a couple, and I knew exactly what their thoughts were at that time.

I managed to retrieve the shoe at the first chance and in the same state that it was almost lost, but not without feeling every bit like the jaywalkers that I once found immensely amusing.   

Long Live The Almost Lost Shoe!

The Ugly Monster!

I was all of four years when I heard for the first time about a woman who had been killed by her in-laws for a monster called ‘dowry’. I did not understand most of it then, except that a young woman had been set afire by greedy people.

It’s been a great number of years since then, and nothing has changed, it seems. Akin to a newspaper, my FB news feed brought in bad news in the form of an appeal for justice from a brother for his sister allegedly murdered by her in-laws for dowry less than a month ago. I do not know this brother, or his sister. It’s a FB share and I am certain sooner or later it will end up in your news feed too. For those who are curious, the victim was a young bride from a middle class family, studying for her Masters degree and was married last year.

Dowry deaths in India have become an alarming statistics. I did some research, and if the figures are to be believed, there is one woman who is sacrificed at the altar of this inhuman ritual every hour in India. To tell you the truth, I don’t believe the numbers. I think an hour is too long.

If the laws of the country are anything to go by, the system of dowry has been illegal since 1961. Yet, fifty years later, we are nowhere close to eradicating or even doling out any kind of justice to the victims who, not surprisingly, hail from all ranks of society. The monster is very much alive and kicking.

Why has it been this difficult to go down with a social system that, in effect, pulls it down? Who are the real perpetrators here? Those who kill or those who aide?

If you ask me, and I am going to tell you even if you don’t, both are equally guilty. One for being the active participants and the other passive ones, who at the end of it, get to call it a foul play. Of course, the daughter is now dead, and suddenly it’s time for justice. What about the times when she could have been saved and given a new lease of life? Oh no, that would have been way too difficult, wouldn’t it?

The brother appeals that his complaint has been falling on deaf ears at all administrative levels. They fall on my deaf ears too! It is you I would very much like to hang!

And my dear sisters and daughters, wherever you are, why do you put up with such cruelty at the hands of others. Do you not have your own two feet? Freedom and, life, is just a step away! There is no one you need to protect here except yourself.

A demand for dowry, at any point of time, cannot be conceded with, under any circumstances. It can only be met with strength - of character. If not of a family, then of an individual. Unfortunately, strength has remained and continues to remain an elusive quality where daughters are concerned. Therefore, weaknesses stem up, somewhat conveniently, and spell doom for the ones who least deserve it.

What has kept the monster alive? Greed? Definitely. No faster way to the swanky pair of wheels than one handed down for free, isn’t it? Of course, it’s well deserved, for all the hard work done to be at a place where it can be milked out of someone else.

But wait, it’s more for the comfort of the daughter, right?

Except, the daughter was comfortable without the expensive items at her home, wasn’t she? Yet, she is proud of the high-end microwave oven her father put in among the many other ‘gifts’. It helps her gain a little more ground at the new territory, gives her that little bit of edge in her new home. Really, does it?   

Who, therefore, has fed the monster so well?

Guilty is the verdict, for those who encourage the system – including the daughters themselves. They sign a death sentence for themselves and thousands of others the moment they find and believe in the argument that justifies the dowry system. That microwave oven does not do anything to her worth except reduce it. With it, she relegates herself to a commodity and a very disposable one at that too.

Daughters are the future -of a family, of society and of the nation. Why then, do they choose to die without a fight? Why do we let them? For if they had chosen otherwise, they would have known that it would all have been worth the fight.   

The Argument Goes On...(AAP)

AAP is all over the news again (I don’t think they were ever off the radar) and more importantly, all over my FB news feed. There are friends arguing over right and wrong, AK, Kumar Vishwas, Somnath Bharti, Rakhi Birla.  Every aspect of the AAP including accusations of being equally corrupt as other political parties to being leftist in their philosophy to being agents funded by the western world are being discussed in ridiculous details. At times and in some opinions, Congress and BJP are largely considered to indulge in nothing except rogue politics while AAP is viewed as a beacon of angelic light that will deliver all from evil. The argument just seems to go on and on….

Never has a political party received such critical media attention or its members subjected to scrutiny akin to a biological dissection under the watchful eyes of a people who really want to know if they have done the right thing by voting them to power. Like I have said before, while AAP did change the face of Indian politics, it has yet to show the talent. I sincerely hope that, the people in the news for all the wrong reasons, are not the only talent that AAP has.  

I am not a political expert but I don’t see much wisdom in the methods of the AAP. A chief minister is a chief minister. Can he really double as a protestor? The law minister is a law minister. Can he really raid with “activists” in the middle of the night? It’s time AAP starts taking itself seriously. There is need for governance, not primetime news.

While AAP seems to have screwed up its act a bit, it does not go without saying that they have achieved good work in the few weeks that they have come to power which is more than what can be said about the full term of the previous government. However, it would be best for AAP to stick to its agenda and, more importantly, align its processes around prudent methods.

In my opinion, the question truly is not about Congress, BJP or AAP. Nor is it a question of coalition based politics. It has never been about any political party. It has always been about the people of the country. It is about education and it is about awareness and its lacking thereof.

Unfortunately, there are many Indias in one India.  Unless they unite, at least in the perception of what they are being served, and if and only when that happens, the politics in the country will work for the country. And any and every political party in power will deliver.   

Until then, sadly, it remains a question of who the lesser evil is.

Lesser evil, huh? So, how do we decide on that?

And the argument goes on...

Kudos New Delhi!

The incident depicted in this post is true and has been reported by a very close and reliable source!

I have never had the chance to defend the city of New Delhi, where I spent a considerable number of years as a young single woman. And I still won’t. It is not a city that is known to be kind to the lot of women.

And yet, the New Year has brought in wonderful news from very close quarters. Unexpected, heartwarming news. And I have, therefore, felt the need to let it be known to as many people I can reach.

Someone very close, a woman, was driving back from work after dark through the city. True to her routine, she decided to stop at a market to buy, well, whatever. In certain countries I know about, what happened in the next second has the potential to bring down governments. With a thud, she landed one of the tyres of her SUV in an open manhole while attempting to park. No, it was not her fault. The manhole – a gaping hole without an iota of warning, had been waiting for a tyre right there in the middle of darkness.

Profanity was soon followed by panic. Road side assistance would take hours, and it was already late in the evening. To make matters worse, people (mostly men) had almost immediately begun to take notice of her sorry predicament.

Before she could retrieve her mobile phone, men poured in from around the shopping complex, in all ages and sizes. And before long, there was a small crowd extremely interested in her situation. And they had one single agenda – to help her get the tyre out of the manhole!

In the next few minutes, the manhole ejected the tyre, probably making a hasty retreat against the will of the determined score. A damsel in distress, she was no more.

As she recounted the tale, overwhelmed with the experience, my heart filled with a sense of pride. This is how it should be, this is how it should have been.

Kudos to the citizens who came forth and thank you for ensuring the safety of one woman. 

As for the manhole, well, it is probably waiting for its next victim. NDMC, are you listening? AK, anyone?

A Sad and Happy Day!

My earliest memories of the last day of the year constitute of chicken and Preeti Sagar. While most of you are familiar with the former, I have strong reasons to believe that not many know about the latter. But more of that later.

I remember the cold, the layers of warm clothes on me which I absolutely did not agree with most of the times, the delightful aroma of chicken roasting in the small electric oven and an overall sense of well being. It used to be a normal day for me, just like any other, only happier.

The party used to begin in our living room with our prized B&W EC television at nine in the evening. Tucked inside quilts with a blower working overtime to keep the temperatures in the room from falling, we would settle to watch whatever Doordarshan had decided for us. And they most certainly decided on Preeti Sagar. “My heart is beating, keeps on repeating….” Anyone?

Soon the year changed. Times changed. I changed.

It’s that last day of the year again. There will be chicken, wine, ribbons, music and dancing. There will be joy, excitement, fun, laughter and games. And there will be the one thing that kicked in as I grew older - the sense of time.

So now the last day of the year is not a normal day anymore. There is happiness, but not without a pinch of sadness - of a year gone by, good or bad or both in equal or unequal measures. Of time that passed. Of time that would never come back again. Of weaknesses and strengths. Of the best and worst of things. Of struggles and successes. Of births and deaths. Of loves and losses.

But it is this sense of time that makes me want to look forward - to find out what the New Year holds for me, us, the world. Pretty much like the feeling when you are in a roller coaster and it slows down, even stops, before the final plunge. You want it to start and stop at the same time.

My heart is beating, keeps on repeating….

Happy New Year!

Living in Minnesota - The Case of the Missing Keys!

At 8:15 am on the Thursday morning, I felt I was ready to burst. The car keys were missing, for the umpteenth time again. Meaning, there were not in all the places that they were supposed to be. So the search began in every pocket, every drawer, and nook and corner of the house.

A little background into the situation while the search is still on – car keys are usually the responsibility of hubby dear. Since we have moved to the US only a couple of months ago, there is just one ferry that goes back and forth between stops comprising of work, school, supermarkets and the like. Therefore, our lives revolve around this particular set of keys especially during the morning rush hour.

After about ten minutes of craziness I am beginning to wonder if the keys are at all anywhere in(side) the house. And the thought is scary, because if they are not inside, it means they are outside the house – somewhere deep in the snow! (Friends, its Minnesota, right?)

Now, there are duplicate keys, which are my responsibility, and right in the place that I keep them in. However, at that point in time, it was unarguably necessary to find the missing keys no matter what! As we trudged out into the snow with a prayer in my heart, I saw the most beautiful thing I could ever have hoped for.

While hubby dear had his head down looking for the lost treasure, he walked right past the large cardboard sign.

“Keys Found. Call R… “ (Sorry, had to blacken the real deal for reasons we all understand)

In the next couple of minutes, the case of the missing keys was closed. I could not believe our luck! And R, who not only kept our keys safe but put up a sign for us too! While we resumed the rest of the day, in the silence of the drive, we could hear our thoughts which were completely in tune for a change. What were our chances of finding the keys? Or the car for that matter? What if…

I have no idea. All I can say ... I love you R, I love Minnesota, I love this world...My faith stands restored! Hallelujah!

The Fight Goes On for the LGBT Community of India

The Supreme Court of India (SC) dealt a hard blow to the LGBT community in the country by its judgment this Wednesday as it upheld Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code (IPC), bringing an inglorious end to a two-decade struggle for equal rights for citizens with a different sexual orientation. What began in 1991 with the AIDS Bhedbhav Virodhi Andolan filing a petition to repeal the IPC Section 377, gathered great momentum over the years to finally culminate in a victory of sorts in 2009 when the High Court of Delhi (HC) ruled in favour of the petitioners. On Wednesday, it was back to square one.

Framed during the colonial times, IPC Section 377 condemns all who have unnatural sex including consenting adults. A remnant of British India’s laws, it continues to remain in the system as a redundant organ with limited functionality. The 2009 Delhi High Court judgment intended relevant changes to the law keeping in view its relevance in the present times. The SC deemed the changes unfit in accordance with the law and tossed the HC order out of the window passing the buck to the legislature of the country. New laws will have to be framed to override/scrap/change the Section 377 - new laws that can take an infinite amount of time to be passed in a country marred with coalition politics.

While IPC Section 377 does not target the LGBT community directly, the provisions in it ensure that its members are stripped of the right to a life of their own. Because they commit a criminal offense punishable with life imprisonment every time they make love. It is like being persecuted for having a different color of your eyes than the general population. Or worse.

Many would still argue in favour of the IPC Section 377 and against everything that they do not deem as natural. According to popular belief, it is in nature to procreate and any act of sex that does not arrive at that conclusion is unnatural. However, recent studies have shown that homosexuality is prevalent in nature in a far more pervasive manner, especially in the animal kingdom. And don’t we all regard animals to live strictly on natural instinct?

It is true that the world had little or no acceptance of homosexuality in the recent past. Countries including the United States, which has strongly registered its protest against the SC verdict, fared no better in their social and legal system a couple of decades ago when it came to homosexuality. But since then, there have been many studies into the nature of human sexuality and perhaps, now, it is understood somewhat better than before. The verdict, therefore, brings to the fore a certain callousness as it upholds an archaic law that has little or no relevance in the current times.

The only good thing that may have come forth in the wake of the verdict is the way it has been received by and large. Prominent political figures provided statements to the press iterating their disappointment with the new order. The blogosphere erupted in support of the LGBT community and in condemnation of the judgment. The social media savvy put forth their points in support of the LGBT community in every which way possible. The butt of jokes in social circles and comic relief on the widescreen, homosexuals can finally hope to find support with many in the masses. Once considered largely homophobic, India seems to have come a long way.

The SC has not closed all doors for the LGBT community as it has granted the right to appeal. However, it is unclear why the SC, noted for its many landmark judgments, did not walk the extra mile to do away with the vulnerability that IPC section 377 imposes on the significant LGBT community of the country. The fight goes on for the LGBT community in India.